UnThanksgiving

I received your “Venetian Blue” Flickr sequence and message. It made me extremely sad…more so than any other time in the recent past. I can’t believe how that affected me. I guess in a way, your silence in the past few weeks or at least your very brief responses to my txt/emails the last few times gives me this indication that you’ve really tried hard “to wear this memory down.”

I’ve also tried to understand as much as I can from your photos, the time it was taken, what time you updated and also your link to the Chihuahua Teacup video on YouTube. It gives me this feeling that you didn’t go to Hawaii to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with family. It saddens me to think that you’re spending it alone or not with good friends/family.

I also took a closer look at the photo “…and a love so deep,” and from what I can tell it looks like it was photo you took at your new place…where you are staying. Do you really keep a photo of us near you? In the room? Oh, love, I wish I could hold you right now…to hold you close “eye to eye” and “skin to skin.”

Even looking at the “in this empty room” photo reminds me of how we painted that room together. To get it ready for your new office. Remember? How many times we redesigned that room to fit your needs and how you wanted to work? Were we getting too comfortable? Was that what made me give up on us?

I was also tempted to share the URL for this weblog. To share with you what I really feel. I wish I could share with you that the memories of who we are and were together are still with me…that we weren’t just a dream. And that day of celebrating Thanksgiving without you is sad…but yet, I know that this is nothing compared to the sadness I know that we will feel during Christmas.