Sadness

Oh Dede. It's been so long...both in our exchanges (txt'ing and email) and in writing in this blog. I've been pulling in 10-12 hour days lately. My eyes are dark and droopy. And then there are those moments of sadness.

Every once in awhile I see how you are enjoying Hawaii with friends. Or photos of Popo and that makes me happy. And then, just like the Venetian Blue photostream, I see those images of "Irony, Sad Irony...Home is longer Home. Sweet is only a memory." And then I feel your pain all over again. Last night I received a couple of Christmas Cards from friends (via mail forwarding from Reef Point) who obviously do not know.

And then yesterday, you text'd me saying that you were sorry for not paying FasTrak. That's it? That's all that's on your mind? Can we talk? I hope you know I'm dying to but just waiting for you to be ok with it. Maybe you never will. That's so heavy on my heart. And, I know...I deserve this sadness.

This morning, in my regular coffee shop (not Starbucks) where I pick up my cup, they were playing "Have yourself a Merry Little Christman." I thought I was going to cry right there and then.